From Brides to Burdens: The Hidden Struggles of Indian Women

In India, marriage is often celebrated as a sacred bond, a joyous union of two families. Yet, for countless women, this transition can signal the onset of a harrowing journey marked by isolation, helplessness, and a profound loss of identity. After marriage, many women find themselves caught in a web of expectations, viewed as outsiders in both families, stripped of support and autonomy, and made to feel like burdens rather than valued members of the household.

The Weight of Dowry and Societal Expectations

The financial burden of weddings and the insidious dowry system contribute to a damaging perception that brides are liabilities. Families often invest significant resources into marriages, believing their obligations end once the wedding is over. This mindset fosters an environment where the bride feels unwelcome and unsupported, as her family may view her as a financial drain rather than a cherished member of the household. Despite being illegal, the dowry system persists in many regions, perpetuating the notion that women are commodities to be exchanged. According report by the National Crime Records Bureau, 19 women were killed for dowry every day in 2020 and 25% rise in dowry cases in 2021, highlighting the dire consequences of this entrenched practice.

A Loss of Independence and Identity

Traditionally, Indian society has not prioritized women's education and independence. Many women marry at a young age, often before they have had the opportunity to pursue their education or develop a career. This lack of preparation leaves them vulnerable in their new homes, where they are expected to adhere to strict household norms and fulfill traditional roles without question. The emotional and psychological toll of this transition can be overwhelming. With little to no financial independence, many women feel trapped, unable to voice their concerns or stand up for their rights. The Sustainable Development Goals Report 2024 highlighted, one in five girls is married before the age of 18 leaving them ill-equipped to navigate the complexities of marriedlife like lack of autonomy over sexual and reproductive health.

The Cycle of Abuse and Helplessness

The dynamics of power and control within these households can lead to a disturbing reality: domestic violence is prevalent in many marriages. Women, viewed as burdens, may endure physical, emotional, or psychological abuse without the means to escape. The abuse can range from verbal insults and emotional manipulation to severe physical violence. Alarmingly, the National Family Health Survey (NFHS) indicates that approximately 30% of married women in India have experienced some form of domestic violence and that's just the reported number. In some cases, marital rape becomes a grim reality, where women are forced into sexual relations against their will, often under the guise of marital duty.

The societal stigma surrounding divorce and the lack of support systems for women aggravate this issue, as many feel they have no choice but to endure their circumstances. The perception of women as helpless individuals who will not complain creates a dangerous environment where abuse can thrive. The fear of social consequences, coupled with a lack of financial resources, often silences women, leaving them feeling isolated and powerless.

Many women internalize the belief that they are to blame for their situation, feeling guilty for the financial burden their families incurred during the wedding. They are often made to feel that their parents have already sacrificed too much, and any complaint or request for help is seen as an additional burden. This toxic mindset can lead to severe mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and a sense of worthlessness.

I personally know women who are victims of this abuse suffering in silence with a deep sense of helplessness, lacking the confidence to change their situation, feeling completely alone and without support as if they have no choice but to accept the abuse. It's so sad to see how marriage changed their life from one filled with dreams and aspirations to a reality overshadowed by fear and isolation. They often question their worth, believing that enduring the pain is their only option. How many more lives must suffer with silence before we collectively decide that enough is enough?

The Need for Change

For too long, the financial burdens of weddings and the dowry system have painted brides as liabilities rather than cherished individuals. This mindset not only places immense pressure on families but also diminishes the value of women in society. We must work towards empowering women by promoting financial independence through education and skill development. When women are equipped to support themselves, they gain the confidence to make choices that prioritize their own happiness and well-being.

Additionally, we need to shift the narrative around divorce, educating families to see it as a valid option rather than a failure. Normalizing divorce can help break the cycle of dependency and abuse, allowing women to reclaim their autonomy and dignity. By fostering a culture that values personal fulfillment over societal expectations, we can create a more equitable environment where women are respected and empowered to live life on their own terms.

Conclusion

The sad truth is that many women in India continue to face significant challenges after marriage, often feeling like outsiders in their families and trapped in a cycle of dependency and abuse. By prioritizing financial independence, reducing the financial burden associated with marriage, and normalizing divorce, we can take meaningful steps toward creating a society that values women's autonomy and well-being. It is time to reframe the narrative around marriage, recognizing it as a partnership built on mutual respect and support, rather than a transaction laden with expectations and burdens.